Silly Anecdotes

I do not feel like writing anything major today. Instead I have some nice, lighthearted silly anecdotes!

• Walking down a main road in Wenchi last weekend, a little boy went absolutely ZOOMING past me on rollerblade. Not on rollerblades, on a singular rollerblade on his left foot. He had his right foot, up – imagine a flamingo – on his left calf. It was so amazing. He was going amazingly fast. The only I can think of that would be more amazing would be how he stopped.
  
  
• I made a random baby STOP crying. Now you have to know that this is truly remarkable, because the unfamiliar and thus weird paleness of white skin generally provokes crying from a Ghanaian baby. It literally never stops the crying. But anyway, last week, I was riding in a taxi through Techiman. We came to the brand new stop light on the main drag, where naturally, the driver stopped. I looked out my window and saw a plump middle-aged man holding a baby (this also never happens). The baby was going totally ape shit. Failing arms, kicking legs, dramatic sobbing, the whole show. But the man said something to the baby and pointed to me. And with one look, that baby went from shitshow hysterical to completely blank in 0.2 seconds. And stayed like that. Everyone around the man and in the taxi, including me, totally cracked up. Some cynics might have call it scared-stiff, but I call it I-MADE-A-BABY-STOP-CRYING. BOOM.
  
  
• This isn't funny per se, but is of general interest I suppose. I encountered a shea fruit for the first time. Last week, the headmistress brought to my house a plastic bag full of golf-ball-sized and -shaped, bright green fruits. Although the nut accounts for most of the volume of a shea fruit, there is also some flesh to it. And the flesh, which is also bright green, is taaaaaaaaaastey! It is sort of a cross between an avocado and a papaya. Although that description is really strange, I know, I have been trying to come up with it for 2 days, and it is as close as I can get. On a related note, let me know if you want me to bring some shea butter (100% pure!) back for you, since it costs like a bazillion dollars in the U.S.
  
  
• Last week, I saw two little boys (7 or 8) playing. Wrestling, actually. In a short period of time, the smaller boy got pinned by the bigger boy. Immediately, the smaller boy jumped up, scowled, pointed at the bigger boy, said, “You fucking chump,” and ran away. I am so not kidding.
  
  
• Bright came to my house yesterday to hang out. He kept asking for water, so I kept giving him cups of water. But of course, an hour later, he was peeing like every 10 minutes. Then some time later in the afternoon, Humu showed up at the house. She walked up, happened to stop behind Bright (who was peeing), and started talking to me. Startled by her voice, Bright whirled around.... While peeing... And peed on Humu. I am laughing just typing this. Good God, that was funny.
  
  
• Funny questions I have been asked recently:
  - Is George Bush a real cowboy?
  - Is it true that the fake hair African women use comes from dead Chinese people?
  - Does masturbating actually cause syphilis?
  - If a person smokes weed too much, will he lose his mind?
  - Do white people know how to eat chicken?
  - If you don't eat fufu in American... what DO you eat??
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                
  
  Me and my "husband," the chief Menji.  I love him.  He the bomb.