Ghanaian English

English is spoken by many, many people round the world.  As in like 375 million or something crazy..  However, the way in which it is spoken, varies dramatically from place to place.  Just as there is American English (i.e. gnarly, douchebag, spiffy, etc.), British English (i.e. knickers, bloody, a pint ), Australian English (i.e. fair dinkum, bogan, goon)... There is most certainly Ghanaian English.  And today I want to share some with you.

Ghanaian English                      American Equivalent

Polytin                                        Black plastic bag

Rubber                                        Small clear plastic bag

I'm coming                                 I'm walking away and may or may not return

It's coming                                 I still don't have the thing you requested 2 weeks ago

Plaster                                        Bandaid

Pawpaw                                      Papaya

He is not correct                       He's messed up in the head

Don't mind him                         He's an idiot

Make noise                                Be obnoxious

I am fine                                     I am terrible / great / sick / happy / miserable / ecstatic / dying / tired                          

                                                                   / busy / bored / angry / or any other state of being

Toffee                                         Candy

Chips                                          French fries, fried yam chunks, fried plantain slices

Taking tea                                  Eating breakfast

Wine                                           Any alcoholic beverage

I see it                                        I understand

You are invited                         You can eat some of this food if you want

Are you sure?                            You are totally wrong

AYE!                                             You f**king with me?

Snap me                                     Take a picture of me

Aaaay Charlie                           Sup

I will beat you                          Quit annoying me

Sweet                                          Very tasty and delicious, but not necessarily sugary

T-Roll                                          Toilet Paper
Pear                                            Avocado

In addition to the words and phrases, syntax also varies dramatically.  When teaching, if I construct a sentence in the American way that is natural to me, most of my students will not understand. Although 2 or 3 might, the other 30 definitely would not.   And it is not necessarily because the American English is complex.  In fact, that's not it at all.  

Now I'm really thinking about it, there are actually four main differences: 

(1) The rhythm of the speech

(2) The order of the words

(3) The variation and in the tone of one's voice
(4) Accent

The accent is a funny one... I have most of my students saying "wha-der" instead of "wha-tah."  They think it's funny to say water with an American accent.   

I think I am done writing for now.

BYE!

The Case of the Missing Sneaker

I had been sad - no, no, worse, bordering on morbid - for nearly three weeks.

I hadn't been going for my ritualistic tri-weekly long distance runs. The runs that strengthen my body. The runs that work my heart and drive blood through my veins. The runs that settle my mind of muddle and confusion from life on earth. The runs that clear my conscientiousness to a state pure placidity. The runs that help me take a good poop the next day.

My running hiatus was not caused by injury, nor lack of motivation, nor the ridiculously hot climate. The cause of my cease in running was much, much, MUCH stupider.

Among my dog's many remarkably charming attributes, Fuzz also has his vices. One such vice is his obsessive affinity for removing my shoes from the house to chew on them in the yard. Now listen, I'm not much one for aesthetics, especially here in Africa; a few bite marks are nothin to me! Dad always said, "B, function over form. Function over form. No logical human wants a nice, pretty piece of crap that doesn't work worth a darn." But the nommy-marks weren't the problem.

Usually he does his chewing right by the shower. 'Where is my shoe?' I would think. Immediately I'd reply to myself, 'Ah, yes, that dusty patch nearest the shower.' And always, unfailingly, it would be there. Easy find.

This time, however, this time was something different. It wasn't next to the shower. Nor behind the shower. Nor anywhere near it, for that matter. It wasn't behind the staff bungalows. It wasn't in the cement pit of despair (Carolyn, you know what I mean). It wasn't in the filthy, smelly garbage pile. It wasn't in or around the row of thick green shrubs in front of my house. Then, suddenly, it hit me.

"Oh, shit, *more vulgar curse* ....it's somewhere out in the cashew grove."

Now I know, that may not sound that bad, but Fuzz roams the several hectares of cashew groves daily. Not only that, but since it is dry season, the cashew trees are dropping their leaves. In other words, my shoe was in the quite cliché position of being a needle (dirty gray shoe) in a haystack (several hectares of ankle-deep, light brown leaves).

So, I looked and I looked. My searches were in vain. The shoe was no where to be found. I loved those shoes. They had been with me since the beginning. I mean really the beginning, April of 2012. I was desperate. Then miserably hopeless. Then totally dejected. Then just resigned.

Some two weeks later, long after I had stopped worrying about it, some little girls were milling around my house - per usual - apparently waiting for some attention or interaction. They were around 8 or so in age, thin, very pretty, and obviously sisters. I had an idea, feeling inordinately brazen for a Tuesday afternoon, I strode into my room and grabbed the lone left sneaker. I returned to the yard, pointed to the shoe, then out into the cashew grove, and said, "KƆ hƆ wƆ cashew dua no ne hyehyɜ me shoe no." Literally in English, "Go there in the cashews trees and look for my shoe." They smiled, nodded, and ran off.

I parked myself on the porch to catch a breeze and to work on the following week's science test. Midterm exam to be exact. It had been about two hours and no sign of the girls. 'Oh well,' I thought, 'They gave up just like I did - can't blame them.' Supposing I might as well finish up the test while I was at it, I continued typing away. The topics were (1) Soil Conservation, (2) The Nature the Water Molecule, and (3) Acids, Bases, and Salts. Somewhere between the polarity of H₂O and hydrogen bonding, I heard distant, but distinctly gleeful shrieking coming up the eastward path toward my house. I stood so abruptly and roughly that I nearly threw my computer to the ground.

"...No *f-word*ing way..." I said aloud, completely befuddled.

But there they were. Two adorable, tiny little ladies sprinting down the path with my shoe held high in the air, like Usaine Bolt with the Jamaican flag after an Olympic 100m dash.

Upon their arrival I embraced them vigorously. Which was as much to their surprise as it was to their great delight. I went quickly inside the house, and returned with two 20 pesewa pieces (20 pesewas is worth about a dime in the US). I placed a small tarnished coin in each of their small dirty palms.

Wide-eyed and with an open mouth smile, they looked down at the coins in their hands, then at each other, then at me. "Thank you Madam!!!!!" they squealed with rejoice as they ran/ skipped/ bounded down the opposite, westward path homeward.

20 pesewa pieces held with pride, high in the air all the way.

'No, no. Thank you girls!' I thought, a shoe in each hand. Ahhhh, finally reunited. I went running that evening for about an hour / approximately 7 miles. And it was AWESOME.

CASE CLOSED

One last note: A bit of profound thinking... Since I am into that kind of thing these days... Win-win situations are a great deal, right? Well, I think my interaction with those two little girls was probably the most genuine and deeply joyful win-win situation I have ever been a part of.

Hello Everybody, Happy New Year!!

Intro

I have missed you all so much, it's about darn time I gave you an update. So here it is!

As most of you know I was home for Christmas. I was so happy to see you all. Spending time with people I love, drinking wine, family game night, eating cheese (although not too much for fear of wrecking my digestive system), giving Christmas presents, romping through the woods in the snow with Bear... Anyhoo, I needn't say much about Christmas in Indiana, because well, you were most likely there.  All I need to say is that the overwhelming love I received upon my brief visit home was incredible and I am so thankful for each and everyone of you.

Update Part 1 (Fussy Pants ON)

Ringing in the New Year, I had a bit of bad luck streak. I don't want to dump a pathetic pity party on you but.... Immediately upon my arrival I was unlucky enough to have had my bag lost in transit (BOO) and had to wait around for them to find it.  Then I had not one but two phones stolen, my camera was stolen also, my favorite sunglasses got swiped, I had a lovely encounter with Giardia (amoung other unsavory health issues), my fantastic American shampoo got squirted all over the yard by some kids (which is TRAGIC become shampoo just cannot be bought in my neck of the woods), and.... AND.... 

And worst of all.... This is so awful....

I broke my Michael Jackson mug. A moment of silence, please.

Update Part 2 (The Laboratory)

Hallelujah, holy shit, where's the Tylenol [get the reference?], my lab is ALMOST FINISHED!  The only remaining steps are to lay the tile, put in (install?) the windows, and move in all the equipment and computers. I swear I will see this project to absolute completion, and I will then be more proud than I have ever been in my entire life. I am not being dramatic, I think this is probably the most valuable and important accomplishment of my entire life. I hope you know that if you are reading this, you are most likely someone who has inspired me to follow this path.... I am such a sap today... and that I am so grateful for your support.

I would post pictures, except the whole stolen camera thing. Mom said she is sending me a new one for my birthday (March 1), so soon you will get to see pictures again!!

Update Part 3 (School)

School is going great. The third and fourth year students are preparing for their WASSCE. The WASSCE is a set of exams that test the students in every subject on every topic they have learned throughout high school. It is similar to SAT subject tests. In April, they will take approximately two 5 hour exams per week for four weeks. It is INTENSE. The students are killing themselves, studying day and night, to review everything they have learned since they were freshman. Their anxiety is NOT unfounded. I have seen the exams. Those things are intense.

My second year chemistry students are kicking ass and taking names. I will write an entire post soon on how awesome those boys and girls are.

Honestly, the only even vaguely negative aspect of my experience at school are the other teachers. Some days they are funny and engaging, other days they are just chauvinistic butt wipes. But hey, those people exist on every continent!

Update Part 4 (My 2013 Resolution)

Something I've never done before, I actually made a New Year's Resolution this year. The Conway Clan has never been much of a New Year's resolution type family, but a couple days before leaving home, Aubrey told me she was giving up sweets this year. I greatly admired her resolve and was subsequently compelled to also make a resolution.

My resolution for 2013 is a multifaceted one. I have resolved to accomplish all of the following:

• Complete my SPA (Small Projects Assistance) Grant laboratory project
• Use PCPP (Peace Corps Partnership Project) Grant funds to do an awesome agriculture project at my school involving bee hives, a chicken coop, and a goat house (hutch? ... or what the heck is a goat house called?)
• Help two of my particularly intelligent and hardworking female students, Christi Nkrumah and Alice Nare, apply for the Peace Corps GYD (Gender and Youth Development) scholarship
• Take Alice and Richmond Dateng to STARS (the annual week long Peace Corps youth leadership and volunteerism camp)
• Ace the GRE. And I don't mean do well. I mean to murder that thing. Put the hurt on it.
• Apply to vet school. AND GET IN.

I know this list of goals is ambitious, but I also know it is attainable. I am a driven woman, willing to work my ass off for the things I want. By December 31, 2013, I plan to have a check next to each and every one of those items.  By golly!

Update 5

I will blog more often. :) I have a load of silly anecdotes I think you will like.

Friends, Family, Colleagues, Random Wierdos....

I now say Auf Wiedersehen

Betsy